A new mum has opened up on Mumsnet about wanting her pre-baby life back.
The mother of a 10-month-old took to Mumsnet to seek advice and asked: “Will I always regret the loss of my old life?”
Despite loving her child, the mother constantly felt “regret” and mourned for the life she once had.
“I love her more than anything in the world. I constantly worry about something bad happening to her,” she declared on Mumsnet.
“She is a lovely, bright, happy, sweet, and quite independent child. But I just can’t shake the feeling that I regret having her.”
Go back in time
The individual missed what she once had and pined over it in her statement.
I just want to go back to my old life. I had a quiet, peaceful, unexciting life, and that’s what I like.
“I’m a very introverted, self-contained person and I was always happy just being by myself, working from home, watching Netflix in the evenings, enjoying nature, having dinner out now and again. Maybe a holiday once in a while.”
The woman continued: “Obviously, all that is gone now, and I don’t like it. I don’t like parenting. I think it’s mainly the constant sense of responsibility, constantly having to entertain a baby, never being able to just sit and relax and do nothing all day, always having to be on alert.”
Do things get better?
The mother questioned if things would change when her child got older. She asked online mothers about their experiences.
She said: “I know having an older child will bring its own difficulties, but I’m wondering if I’ll enjoy it more once I can reason with her a bit and she can entertain herself more?? Or will I always regret the loss of my old life?
“Wondering what other people have found. I’ve read a few things from people with older children who still find it very hard and regret it! But maybe it’s because people find different things difficult.”
Support from mothers
Users of the site commented on the Mumsnet forum with candid stories and experiences.
A fellow mother gave her hope and commented: “It gets better! I found the baby age mind-numbing because you are constantly on alert but never really doing anything YOU want to. Once you don’t have to watch every single thing they do, and they actually want to do quite fun things with you, it definitely gets better. Don’t get me wrong, long boozy brunches are a thing of the past, but you get much more of yourself back once they get to school age.”
Another laid it out matter of fact and joked: “0 to 6 months – f***ing awful
6 to 12 – slightly better than 0 to 6 but still f***ing awful
1 to 2 – the worst phase ever
2 to 2.5 – not good but not bad
2.5 to 3 – okay to good.”
“It really does get easier! I have a 3 year old now and he can play by himself, we have little chats and days out and we go shopping etc. – it does get better,” a hopeful mother shared.
One site user did not give much empathy and commented: “Oh dear. Perhaps if you try to remember why on earth you decided to have a child, it might help? You must have felt you were gaining something?”
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