A dad has asked if he “made a huge mistake” by forcing his daughter to go to school following her mother’s death in the latest of the popular Reddit stories.
The dad admitted he was “feeling conflicted” after a recent decision to make his 16-year-old daughter go to school right after her mother’s death. He admitted life has been tough for both of them since his wife passed, adding that his “extremely, extremely distraught” daughter wanted time off school after her mum died.
But he ended up “prioritising her academic performance instead”. Many other Reddit users chimed in, some sympathised with the grieving dad, while others argued he made the wrong decision.
Dad ‘didn’t allow’ grieving daughter to ‘take some time off’
The dad admitted he has “always” been a stickler for education and his daughter is a “bright student” who excels in her studies. But when she asked for three weeks off school, he admitted he wouldn’t let her. He also explained she had no time off at all since her mum’s death. He wrote: “I was concerned that missing school would lead to a drop in her academic performance and potentially hinder her chances of getting into a good college.”
He told her that maintaining a routine would provide stability and “keep her on track”. But his daughter was “devastated” by his decision. He added: “She accused me of not caring about her feelings and prioritising her school performance over her emotional well-being. She believes that I’m being callous and unfeeling, dismissing her need for ‘time to heal’.”
After his daughter’s comments, he felt like he was in the wrong and asked if he did the right thing. People were very divided as they weighed in.
‘She needed time to grieve’
Many people came to the defence of the daughter, arguing it wasn’t fair to send her right back to school. One person wrote: “She needed time to grieve. A couple of weeks out of school won’t ruin her academic results. I know this is hard and I am sorry for your loss, but you need to stop being lazy. Get her teachers involved and make sure she can take the rest she deserves while staying on track with school.”
Another person added: “She’ll get into college even with taking a few weeks off. Focus on her long-term well-being and not short-term academics. Yes, get her teachers and the school staff involved. Your daughter would also likely benefit from counselling or a support group. She is asking for help. Give it to her.”
Mental health is more important.
A third person shared a similar experience: “I was a straight-A student and my father died suddenly less than a month before I graduated high school. I only took a week off at that time. I am so thankful for the teachers that just let me take a letter off my final grade rather than turn a final project/paper. However, with the fallout and everything that happened after I really wish I’d taken the next year off to focus on mental health.”
They added: “I failed out of my first year of a prestigious college and then had to take the time to deal with the crisis of no longer being the good student, my whole identity, on top of my dad’s death. Mental health is more important.”
Reddit stories: Others offered the dad advice
Other people offered their sympathies to the grieving dad and widower. One person said: “Do your daughter a favour. Apologise. Give her some time off. I know you’re trying to do your best in the situation and circumstances – but she is too, let her tell you how she needs to heal and grieve. It’s important. Sending my condolences.”
Another person agreed: “I understand your concerns that her academic performance may slip, but to be honest if she isn’t allowed the time she needs to grieve, her grades are going to slip anyway. And moreover, if they do, that’s okay. She will have a future anyway, even if she gets bad grades at this point.”
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