As Andy Williams once sung about this time of year (if not about the festive comings and goings of celebs): “It’s the hap-happiest season of all.
“With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings/When friends come to call/It’s the hap-happiest season of all.”
But among all these tidings of comfort and joy, remember the following poor celebs. Many of them have had a bit of a nightmare week before Christmas.
Layton Williams
It has been two decades since Strictly Come Dancing first became a staple of Saturday night viewing. We’ve now reached the stage in the series’ life cycle where being an excellent dancer is Actually Bad, according to truth-twisters.
Ellie Leach and Vito Coppola are great winners for 2023. But are they the worthiest winners from this year’s series? Not if the criteria for winning a TV dance show means the most talented and dedicated dancer wins. As demonstrated, however, it isn’t.
For weeks and weeks, grumbles about Layton Williams‘ dance excellence were amplified. The moans swelled unconvincingly: “He shouldn’t win, he’s too good!” Imagine trying to make out that is anything but a backwards position to take. The insinuation Layton be dismissed because of his background – his training, by the way… what were you thinking of? – saw some dubious types stick a red flag in themselves.
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Thankfully, Layton isn’t as fragile as his risible critics. He was denied, despite his undeniable and superior talent. Strictly isn’t strictly a competition, though. It is, of course, ultimately a popularity contest with sequins. And that’s fine – get passionate about your favourite, by all means. But doing others down for the most absurd of reasons doesn’t lift your faves up.
Excellent Ellie – a personal favourite – turned out to be the most popular of the Strictly 2023 cast. But TV shows such as Strictly frequently reveal the most unpalatable sides of some those watching at home. And Layton wiped the dance floor with them all.
Vanessa Feltz
This Morning’s Vanessa pulled the “some of my best friends are coeliacs” card after spouting tripe about gluten-free grub recently.
“I wouldn’t want to upset anyone. I don’t actually think I said anything that was wrong. But if anyone misunderstood or felt that I did, then I’m very sorry,” she non-apologised.
A sorry case, indeed.
Helen Flanagan
Reported heartache for Helen, who won’t be with her kids on Christmas Day, but will spend time with them a few days later in Bali.
Typical co-parenting experience in a single sentence, right there. Very relatable.
Celebs having a far worse week than us: Holly Willoughby
A few weeks away from the start of Dancing On Ice 2024, and telly bosses may apparently still be holding out for Holly Willoughby. But hopeful glances – like a pet pooch begging for a scrap of turkey – may be wandering elsewhere. Who’ll end up as leftovers?
Anton du Beke
Bookies are offering odds of 4/1 that Anton du Beke will depart the Strictly judging panel ahead of the 2024 series.
A Ladbrokes spokesperson said: “Bruno Tonioli’s boots were always going to be big ones to fill.”
Will Anton’s run end up as short and sweet? His meandering, OTT appraisals haven’t always been.
Natasha Kaplinsky
Nearly 20 years after she won the first series, Natasha Kaplinsky found herself thrust into the Strictly spotlight once again as Craig Revel Horwood mentioned her during his emotional comments to Ellie and Vito. An unintentional dig, or…?
Bradley Walsh
It sometimes feels that a light entertainment show can’t happen unless Bradley Walsh is on board. But some viewers of the the Royal Variety Performance recently hoped Bradders would get the hook, rather than a gong, which he may have mentioned once or twice.
Josie Gibson
This Morning’s Josie Gibson endured a hospital dash due to tonsillitis after her I’m A Celeb stint, where she gave her all to entertain viewers, as she does on ITV’s flagship daytime show.
“It’s a very special day, because our Josie has come home!” co-host Craig Doyle hyped up Josie earlier this week.
TV’s toughest crowd still noped her. “God she’s only been on a TV show, not to war,” one viewer complained with a similarly-measured response, possibly crossing their arms at the same time.
Bobby Brazier
Bobby Brazier and Dianne Buswell didn’t win Strictly 2023, despite the tendency of a couple of judges to focus on how adorable they found him, rather than his ability.
The Bobby hype train hasn’t been derailed completely though, as it took in a stop with Loose Women this week.
“I’ve been hanging around an old lady for the last three-and-a-half months,” Bobby guffawed in a fluffed response to a candyfloss-soft tee-up about him ‘becoming a grown-up’ on Strictly.
Read the room, Bobby – a room with a panel and studio audience almost entirely full of women older than Dianne.
A very merry Christmas to all of our unfortunate celebs, and to one and all. Let’s have the best week ever!
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