BBC journalist Rachael Bland has opened up about how she and her family are coping with her terminal cancer diagnosis.
The Radio Five Live newsreader is facing leaving behind her husband, Steve, and their nearly three-year-old son, Freddie, after being given the heart-breaking news in May that her breast cancer is incurable.
The 40-year-old was initially diagnosed in November 2016 and treatment since then has failed to stop the disease spreading as she has a particularly aggressive form.
Writing for the Telegraph, Rachael said she and her family still haven’t given up hope that she can be saved as she’s been trying some pioneering treatments of early phase clinical trials.
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She added that she’s trying not to think too much about how much time she might have left as she wants to enjoy every moment she can with her son.
She said: “I have to suppress a lot of the darkest thoughts about Freddie growing up without his mummy around. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the precious times we have left together.
“We find denial is the best tactic to get through this, and until someone tells us ‘This is the end’, we’ll try, as much as we can, to keep going as normal.”
However in case the worst should happen, Rachael wants to ensure Freddie will have lots of memories of her and who she is so she’s started writing a memoir of her life for him.
“I feel writing is the best way I can get my personality across to him… it contains all the stories and the advice that I would have given Fred over the years, but won’t be around to do in person,” she explains.
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“I hope he will come back to it through his life and it will resonate in different ways at different stages. Writing it has made me laugh, smile and cry in equal measure.”
I’ve written a piece in the Sunday Telegraph with the latest on me, ‘For Freddie’ and our You, Me & the Big C Podcast relaunch on 16th August. Do have a read💋 #cancer #terminallyfabulous #stage4 #ForFreddie #memoir #youmebigc #bigclittleme https://t.co/DDuG4KMAKf
— Rachael Bland (@Rachael_Hodges) August 12, 2018
The journalist was told by friends who lost their mothers young that they would love to have something like that to turn to so the book will be the “ultimate gift of my love” to her son.
Rachael is also continuing to work for Radio Five Live when she feels well enough and she’s being writing a blog and doing a podcast, You, Me and the Big C to share her experience and offer support to others.
Read Rachael’s full blog post for The Telegraph here.