Have you ever noticed how ‘celebrity’ almost rhymes with ‘pity’? Must be because the people who decide how words work understand hard-done-by celebs probably have it much tougher than anyone else…
We can sympathise with the rich and famous’ highly-publicised woes. And shed a tear occasionally, while glancing in their direction of their shenans on social media… maybe.
But we’ll never fully comprehend how the glitterati suffer so, thoughts and prayers to the following VIPs…
Celebs having a far worse week than us – Tom Cruise
Film icon Tom Cruise became a star in 1983’s Risky Business before conquering Hollywood with Top Gun just three years later. He’s been box office gold ever since.
And now that he’s worked his way up the greasy pole of megastar success, Tom managed to bag a gig appearing in a Super Bowl ad.
Some viewers, however, were left puzzled by Tom’s fizzog. Apparently, as it turns out, a 62-year-old man might not always have the same appearance as when they were 24. Staggering. Who could have possibly imagined the pesky passage of time would be like that?
And has anyone else heard such gossip-mongering about changes to appearances happening with Tinseltown types before now?
Taylor Swift
In other Super Bowl-adjacent news – we promise there’s no more of it – Taylor Swift came in for boos from the crowd after she was shown on the Jumbotron.
Was it because she’s dating Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs? Or due to the apparent leader of the free world getting totally rattled by Tay Tay and trolls her on Presidential time?
The Chiefs may have lost to the Philadelphia Eagles (*shrugs*) but we wouldn’t bet against Taylor ending up on the right side of history if the other option is closer to the mark.
Stephen Mulhern
Outraged viewers complained about Stephen Mulhern‘s barely-single entendres on Dancing On Ice last weekend.
“So we are cancelling Gino but not Mulhern for his comments? Bit cold to get his pom poms out? Make it make sense,” one social media commenter fumed, comparing allegations made against D’Acampo and the In For A Penny host’s seemingly charmless references to, among other things… well, have a read about it here.
That X user may be best off giving the ice rink a swerve themselves, what with that sense of balance.
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Michelle Keegan and Mark Wright
Former Corrie star Michelle Keegan and her ex-reality TV show hubby Mark Wright were revealed to be expecting a few months back, following years of slightly impertinent fan speculation about whether they might become parents or not.
The development of their mega-mansion in Essex seemed to be almost as long-running a saga. It took about four years for the couple’s £3.5million mansion to be put together. And by heck, with that much white and beige knocking about, they’d better ensure guests take their shoes off before padding about.
But what will happen when the mini MichMark comes and is old enough to fling pureed carrot about with reckless abandon? Nightmare.
And, as some fans have pondered, what other baby-proofing adjustments will need to be made, mere months (okay, about 14 of them) after Chez Keegs-Wright was finished? Imagine the baby gates needed for the stairs…
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Celebs having a far worse week than us – Gino D’Acampo
Under fire Gino D’Acampo was back at work recently – toiling away on an Asda shop floor. Not that he’s replenishing shelves or keeping a watchful eye over the self-service checkouts.
Instead, Gino shared a video of him pressing the flesh with devoted fans as he flogged a cookbook and promoted an air fryer.
But amid the allegations levelled at Gino, reports have also suggested him and Gordon Ramsay may not have been as close as was portrayed for quite a while.
“Gordon was horrified with what had gone on and felt it was time to step in and stop it. He has three daughters and a wife, Tana, who he absolutely adores, and he felt it was disgusting,” an unnamed source is said to have said to MailOnline.
Over on Instagram, meanwhile, a quick peek at Gordon’s follows indicated Gino’s account, as well as those linked to the Italian chef’s My Pasta Bar and other restaurants, may still pop up in his timeline. We haven’t checked Gordon’s other social media handles, though – investigative journalism is a bit tiring.
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Celebs having a far worse week than us – Natalie Cassidy
EastEnders legend and national treasure-in-training Natalie Cassidy was unveiled as Bush on The Masked Singer in last week’s semi-final. Wow, we had to read back and check that last sentence a few times.
Nat was sent packing as part of the double elimination, along with Example, and fans were not impressed. Quite incredibly, for a show that is almost identical shot by shot every episode, containing the same (canned?) crowd chants, one even claimed Natalie’s involvement – in the sense the panel couldn’t work out her identity – meant the programme was not “credible”.
Imagine being pinpointed as being part of the least credible aspect relating to the ITV series. What a bum note for her to go out on!
Celebs having a far worse week than us – Jayne Torvill
DOI viewers reckoned Jayne Torvill looked “uncomfortable” in her dress on last Sunday’s episode of the ITV skating reality series. Maybe she’d had to listen to Holly’s co-host Stephen Mulhern try out his material before going on air?
Denise Welch
Poor Denise Welch has endured some health challenges recently. And, as she explained on Loose Women, that setback was compounded by another bout of illness as she prepared for her telly return with a holiday in the Caribbean.
“I got rushed into hospital with acute peritonitis and acute diverticulitis. So I’ve been in hospital on a drip for a week,” she explained.
Not that Den got all that much sympathy from her mum.
She added: “But anyway, they didn’t have to do surgery, they caught it with antibiotics. And eventually, after my mother said to just take me to the knacker’s yard, I’m back.”
Rosie Ramsey
Podcaster Rosie Ramsey has also been under the weather recently. She informed fans on Insta she fell down the stairs while drunk and hurt her coccyx. But as she made light of her injury, so will we.
What a pain in the backside.
Read more: Stacey Solomon in tears over bittersweet moment with daughters Rose and Belle: ‘I’m not okay’
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