Stephen Mulhern, Ashley Banjo, Phillip Schofield separated by pink lines
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9 celebs having a far worse week than us – from Stephen Mulhern and Ashley Banjo to Phillip Schofield

The week that many (probably) wish they could Cast Away…

What a week it’s been for our, ahem, favourite celebs. Phillip Schofield had a new documentary out, Ant and Dec got a cheeky mention and Holly Willoughby (probably) watched on as her old bestie’s career crumbled quicker than a block of feta.

Casting aside (see what we did there?) the Schofield drama, Stephen Mulhern had an issue with damp, Ashley Banjo’s nudey show got axed and Gemma Atkinson ‘pinched’ her kid. Oh, and Peter Andre did the conga with a bunch of Tories. Yes, really!

What a week!

Phillip Schofield on island on Cast Away
Phillip Schofield was Cast Away on his island (Credit: Channel 5)

Celebs having a far worse week than us: Phillip Schofield

If Phillip Schofield thought that Cast Away, his three-part Channel 5 documentary, would make people forgive and forget his indiscretions then he was very, very wrong.

The series aired on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night. It followed him on a deserted island off Madagascar as he tried to survive, and presumably rebuild his image.

He survived physically, much to the disappointment of some viewers. But it wasn’t exactly a triumph when it came to changing the public’s perception of him.

Old mistakes came back to haunt him as Phillip was trolled for “jumping the queue for the Eurostar” as he headed to the airport. And, once he’d been dropped off on the island, his behaviour saw him branded self-indulgent, narcissistic and a host of unmentionable (and unprintable) names.

Holly must be rubbing her hands together in glee…

Eamonn Holmes presenting GB news
Ruth Langsford fans reckon she’s had a lucky escape (Credit: GB News)

Eamonn Holmes

But if Phillip Schofield thought he had it bad, spare a thought for Eamonn Holmes.

He was up to his old tricks as the Schofield documentary aired, doing what he does, erm, best… ranting!

“I think he is where he deserves to be, in exile,” said the journalist presenting on GB News. “This man is addicted to fame. Absolutely addicted to fame.”

Since his split from Ruth Langsford, though, fans aren’t really Team Eamonn any more.

“And Ruth breathes a sigh of relief,” said one as the Loose Women star presumably joined Holly in rubbing her hands in glee…

Celebs having a far worse week than us: Ant and Dec

They’re currently enjoying a break off screen and spending time with their young families. But TV’s most popular duo found themselves caught up in Phillip Schofield‘s TV return this week.

Phillip: “Ant and Dec are my best friends in the whole entire wide world.”

Ant and Dec: “[Radio silence.]”

Do we take it they’re Team Holly, then?

Peter Andre

There appears to be nothing mysterious about Peter Andre‘s political allegiance as he performed at the Tory Party Conference this week.

Pete was apparently seen dancing with a former cabinet minister before leading the conga and dancing on table while singing Stevie Wonder’s Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours).

He also reportedly performed his biggest hits. That’ll just be Mysterious Girl, then.

“Singing at the Tory Party Conference. Thought you were better than that,” wailed one Pete fan. “Well this is disappointing. That’s my childhood ruined,” said another with a very low bar set on what makes a good childhood.

Peter hit back at the (Labour-supporting) haters, though. He replied: “I’m not political. I just love performing and was booked by TikTok. But to be fair they know how to party.”

Course they do, as long as the booze is free and the rest of the country’s in lockdown…

Gemma Atkinson on Lorraine
Gorka’s fiancée hit back at claims she pinches her kids (Credit: ITV)

Celebs having a worse week than us: Gemma Atkinson (and her son Thiago)

Actress Gemma Atkinson risked the wrath of her Strictly hunk of a man Gorka Marquez this week when her parenting skills were called into question.

With Gorka up in Scotland training Dr Punam for the BBC dance show, childcare has been left to Gemma. And, after one incident saw her one-year-old son Thiago pinch his big sister Mia, Gemma decided to show him that violence is never the answer by showing him violence is the answer.

The backlash that followed after the star admitted to “nipping” her son was pretty intense. Even Gemma’s pal Ben Shephard stepped in. He told This Morning viewers smacking was “prevalent” in his household as a child.

“Until it got to the age where it became quite funny. Because it didn’t hurt and my mum couldn’t catch me,” Ben quipped, as every single boy mum in the country sharpened her nails and laced up her trainers.

real full monty on ice
It’s a shame to be saying goodbye to The Real Full Monty, to be fair (Credit: ITV)

Ashley Banjo

Diversity’s frontman now has a distinct lack of, erm, diversity in his career after The Real Full Monty was axed.

Apparently ITV struggled to find stars willing to strip off at the London Palladium and in front of millions watching at home. So the show got the snip, for want of a better word.

Ashley hasn’t addressed the axe, likely because he’s busy waiting to see if ITV keeps him on the Dancing On Ice judging panel for 2025…

Stephen is apparently mortified about the damp and (probably not) reaching for his rubber gloves to scrub it himself (Credit: ITV)

Celebs having a worse week than us: Stephen Mulhern

It doesn’t exactly fill us with glee having to write about Stephen Mulhern‘s misfortune, but then we doubt his tenants have loved living in “squalor” these past few years.

For those not in the know, Stephen isn’t short of a bob or two, reportedly running a £4m property empire. Except we’re not sure if running it is the correct phrase to use here, given one of his properties has damp and mould, erm, running down its walls.

“Who tunes in to watch and support Stephen Mulhern while we’re paying him rent to live in squalor? It leaves me bitter and alienated,” said the tenant, as renowned handyman Stephen takes matters “into his own hands” with a tub of Cillit Bang.

Read more: Strictly Come Dancing star pulls out of show due to injury

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Nancy Brown
Associate Editor