Coleen Nolan has said she’s still battling “heartbreak” following her split from husband Ray Fensome, but she’s also begun to see the positives of being single.
The 52-year-old joined a Loose Women debate on Thursday’s show about how many great loves a person has in their life.
According to anthropologist Margaret Mead, people have a romantic love during the discovery of youth, a stable love for having kids and home-building, and an adventurous love for later life.
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Linda Robson spoke about how all three great loves are the same person for her – her husband – while Lisa Riley said she’d looked for the wrong attributes in previous partners, but had now found someone who shares her interests.
Coleen, who announced her divorce last week, then spoke up.
She said: “Obviously what I’m going through is heartbreaking and awful at the moment and all very fresh.
“So, of course, I’m not sitting here going, ‘I can’t wait to meet the next one’ because at the moment I can’t think of anything worse.”
The television presenter went on to say she’s happy being single – and is looking at the positives of divorce.
“The positive I’m finding from it – if you can find any positive – is that I think, ‘Okay you’ve been in relationships since you were 21. You’re now 52 and going to be on your own.’
“I’m kind of enjoying the independence of it and not having to answer to anyone. And if I want to sit in and drink whatever I want to drink, have a cup of tea and have 20 packets of biscuits, I will!”
Coleen was visibly upset on Loose Women last week as she discussed the breakdown of her ten-year marriage.
The panellist appeared on the show just hours after confirming she was divorcing husband Ray after 17 years together.
Looking sombre, Coleen said: “It’s been really hard and it’s really raw. We’ve only just filed, really, and he’s only just moved out.”
Coleen said both she and Ray had fought hard to save the marriage but it wasn’t to be and they made the decision to separate for the sake of their “future happiness”.
“I said at the beginning of last year we were having issues but hoped we would sort them,” she said.
“We have really tried. We were never going to just say, ‘We’re having problems, let’s call it a day’. We both tried.
“But it gets to a point where you think, we’ve tried, it’s not working. Life has done that and we can’t get it back together. And for the sake of both of our future happiness, and of our kids, especially our daughter Ciara, it just gets to a point…”
Coleen went on to say that her role as a newspaper agony aunt had influenced her decision as well.
“I get these letters all the time from women in a similar situation and I was giving them advice saying ‘sometimes, when you’ve tried everything, it’s okay, it’s not a failure for both our sakes to move on’. As I was saying it, I was thinking I needed to start listening to my own advice.
“I could say it to them as I wasn’t emotionally attached – but I needed to listen to my own advice.”
Coleen said that the tragic death of her sister Bernie and sister Linda being diagnosed with incurable cancer had also played a part in moving on.
“Some of it, as well, was when Bernie passed away and with Linda, of course, that all those things put things into perspective as well and make you re-address if you’re happy or if your life is happy.
“It’s a lot of factors but hopefully now we can go forward, be positive and be great parents to Ciara.”
Coleen told the panel she was determined not to cry and was looking to a positive and happy future.
“It’s really sad but I don’t want to cry. It just happens,” she said.
“And instead of sitting here or staying with someone because I’m scared of being alone at 53, I’ve turned it around and said it’s a new chapter and that’s exciting in itself.
“And hopefully for him as well.”
'It is really sad but it happens. This is just a new chapter' – @NolanColeen bravely talks about ending her marriage after 10 years pic.twitter.com/pRJ6X8TkH9
— Loose Women (@loosewomen) February 7, 2018
Coleen concluded by thanking the Loose Women panel and viewers for being with her over the past year.
“It is sad. I’ve lived my life through this show and I feel like all of you and the viewers sat at home have experienced it with me,” she said.
“And I couldn’t sit here and lie or let people write things or guess things. I just needed to tell people so we can move on. There are bigger and more important things in the world that we need to concentrate on.”
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