Deborah James sitting in hospital room during Lorraine interview
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Deborah James’ devastating confession about children in new book

'I regret that I won’t be able to watch my wonderful children grow up'

Dame Deborah James admitted in her new book that she ‘regrets’ that she won’t be able to watch her children grow up.

Her book ‘How To Live When You Could Be Dead’ will be released tomorrow, seven weeks after her death.

In her book, Deborah wrote: “When I was diagnosed, I looked at my husband and kids and thought, ‘I can’t die now.’ I felt unsatisfied and thought, ‘If I die now, there are too many things left hanging.’

“I don’t feel like that any more. I’ve got to the end, and I regret that I won’t be able to watch my wonderful children grow up, of course, but that’s it.

Deborah James poses on red carpet at event
Deborah was a journalist and mother-of-two (Credit: Cover Images)

Deborah James book

“I don’t feel bitter; I feel proud. I don’t have any regrets about the people I’ve loved, or about unfinished business, or about the things I’ve done with my kids, or about the memories I’ve made.

“Living your life so that you have no regrets isn’t easy, but I feel like that’s what I’ve achieved.”

In 2016, Deborah was diagnosed with bowel, aged 35.

After her diagnosis, she created a podcast, ‘You, Me and the Big C’ to document her cancer journey and raise awareness of bowel cancer. Deborah was nicknamed ‘bowel babe’ and won the hearts of millions, raising seven million pounds for cancer charities.

Diagnosed with bowel cancer

On June 28, 2022, she died aged 40. Her family announced the news on social media in a heartbreaking Instagram post.

In another snippet of her book, Deborah shared how hope ‘can help you sleep at night’ and said everyone should live in the present ‘because tomorrow might not come’.

In her final months of life, she was awarded a Damehood for her efforts to raise awareness of bowel cancer.

Deborah’s rose

In addition, she also had a rose named after her.

“I actually cried when I found out about it, because it was such a beautiful gift. Roses are my favourite flowers, and I hope this one will brighten everyone’s smiles. This variety can now be grown for ever, and maybe one day Eloise might even choose to have it in her wedding bouquet – a wonderful yet bittersweet thought,” she said in her book.

Deborah James smiling during interview on Lorraine
Deborah had a rose named after her (Credit: ITV/Lorraine)

More words from Deborah

Another piece of Deborah’s book revealed how sad she was to leave her loved ones.

She admitted she was “petrified” and “so scared” of dying.

However, she said she needed to “remind myself that my loved ones will be looked after once I’m gone, that they’ll be OK”.

Raising awareness

From her diagnosis to her death, Deborah did all she could to help others avoid her fate.

This included advocating people to break down taboos and talk about their bowel movements and poo.

Deborah believed it was her job to teach society about the signs and symptoms of bowel cancer.

Deborah James smiles in hospital room on Lorraine
Deborah ‘regrets’ not seeing her children grow up (Credit: ITV)

Bowel cancer symptoms

According to Bowel Cancer UK, nearly 43,000 people are diagnosed with bowel cancer every year.

Even though, bowel cancer can affect anyone at any age, more than nine out of 10 people diagnosed with the disease are over the age of 50.

In addition, six out of 10 people that are diagnosed with bowel cancer are aged 70 and over.

Symptoms to look out for are:

  • Blood in your poo
  • An obvious change in bowel habits
  • Unexplained weight loss
  • Extreme tiredness for no reason
  • A lump or pain in your tummy.

In addition, for other signs and symptoms, check out the Bowel Cancer UK website.

Read more: Deborah James’ emotional mum reveals her daughter’s shattering words before death

Bowel cancer is treatable and curable, especially with an early diagnosis.

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