A disabled woman named Melanie Hawkes has admitted she “can’t wipe the smile off her face” after she booked an escort, named Chayse, to lose her virginity.
Melanie made a promise to herself that once she had finished isolating from the Covid-19 pandemic, she was going to hire a sex worker and lose her virginity, facing her fears around love and intimacy as a disabled person.
She told BBC Access All that she “can’t wipe the smile off her face” since booking sex worker Chayse.
Melanie’s decision to book an escort: ‘Maybe I could experience this’
Melanie has been in a wheelchair since she was three years old, due to inflammation of her spinal cord, a condition known as transverse myelitis. The condition led her to isolate with a support worker named Tracey (not her real name) who first suggested that Melanie could consider an escort.
During isolation, Melanie received a massage from her support worker. It was the first time she had been touched in a non-medical way, and opened Melanie’s eyes to the fact that she wanted to experience more. Her support worker admitted she had been with a sex worker before, and it might be an option Melanie could consider.
Melanie told the BBC: “It just opened my eyes to the fact that maybe I could experience this.” She found an online escort profile, where she came across a sex worker named Chayse.
Melanie and Chayse: ‘We were the best of buddies’
Before meeting Chayse, the pair set up a series of video calls where they got to know each other and discussed potential challenges. Melanie’s condition has given her paralysis in her legs and limited movement in her arms. Melanie admitted she asked “about a million questions” about Chayse and the disability access within his apartment.
When the pair finally met in person, Melanie admitted to feeling completing “out of my depth”, but eventually bonded with Chayse. She revealed: “I am an expert with disability and Chayse had no idea. We ended up laughing at each other’s ignorance and naivety. Two hours later we were the best of buddies.”
Legally, Melanie and Chayse broke no laws. In Western Australia, where they are based, the act of prostitution is not against the law and escort agencies are legal. Laws are similar in the UK. The exchange of sexual services for money is legal in the UK, apart from in Northern Ireland, but related activities such as soliciting or running a brothel are not.
While Melanie admitted she had no idea how her body would respond in an intimate setting, she has had a positive experience with Chayse. Chayse added that “creating a safe, welcoming space where she’s in control” was his top priority for Melanie.
‘I’m happier than I’ve ever been’
Melanie’s experiences with Chayse have come at a cost, with Chayse admitting it’s “in the thousands”. His hourly rate is about 400 Australian dollars (£211). And, while Melanie admitted “it’s hard not to fall in love with Chayse”, the escort has supported her beyond their sexual encounters.
Chayse has been working with a dating coach to help Melanie navigate building future romantic relationships. Melanie added: “I’m looking for a Chayse replacement. Somebody who loves me and loves what I like and does everything for free.” She added that she is now on dating apps, something she “never” thought she would do.
I just couldn’t stop telling people and they’re really happy for me. I can’t wipe the smile off my face.
Melanie believes that governments should pay and support disabled people in accessing sexual services. She confessed: “My confidence has grown heaps, I’m happier than I’ve ever been and you can’t put a price on that life-changing experience.”
While she admitted it was nerve-wracking to share her experience with friends and family, she’s glad she did. Melanie said: “I was a bit embarrassed to say anything at first, but it made such a huge difference in my life. I just couldn’t stop telling people and they’re really happy for me. I can’t wipe the smile off my face.”
The full podcast is available on the BBC Access All homepage.
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