Fans were left unimpressed today when The Jeremy Kyle Show ran a paternity test to find out the father of 19-year-old Bev.
Before the show aired, Jezza had hyped up the results of the test, promising real fireworks.
And to be fair, it did have all the ingredients for a classic Kyle moment. Settle in because this may get confusing.
Dave believed he was the father of Bev, until he found out that Gordon had also slept with Bev’s mum, Anne, around the same time.
Gordon believed that HE was the father, and accused Dave of being an embarrassment to men everywhere.
Cue lots of arguing over the paternity, and who slept with who at what time, which led Jeremy to voice what many fans often wonder while watching the show: “How do you all have so much sex?”
So far, so standard for the “925 club” – which is what fans of Jeremy Kyle call themselves on Twitter, referring to the programme’s 9:25am start time.
There was only one thing that somewhat undid the mystery of the DNA test – Bev was a dead ringer for wannabe dad Dave, and looked nothing like rival Gordon.
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One commenter said: “Really don’t need a DNA test for that” while others mentioned how similar the two looked.
Jeremy Kyle fans have been disappointed this week as a string of repeat guests, damp squib segments and too many “feel-good” moments have left viewers feeling shortchanged.
And lo and behold, when the results were read out, Dave was indeed revealed as Bev’s father – and promptly stormed off the stage.
And after a few stern words from Jeremy about curtailing his drinking and making himself into a real father, the pair were ushered off into the sunset.
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Another happy ending for the denizens of the “925 club” – but here’s hoping next week brings a bit more drama!