Ladies… We live in a world today where it’s hard to find that perfect gent to settle down with, right? Well step forward Scotty T, reality star, author and absolute charmer.
The Geordie lad, who this week unleashes his book A Shore Thing (geddit?), has surpassed himself by chatting about girls, dating and Megan McKenna in, er, the nicest possible of ways.
Before we get to what Scott said about TOWIE’s fiery megagob (it’s worth the wait, believe us), here’s what he had to say about dating apps!
“Half the people [on them] are catfishes,'” he raged. “You only use Tinder when you haven’t pulled anyone and you’re lying in bed and you’re horny as owt. You swipe right for all of them as you’re trying to get a bang.”
Instead, Scotty believes that the best way to find a suitor is that old fashioned method of actually getting out there and meeting people in the flesh!
“Apart from that going out and being face to face is the best way,” he told the Sun. ‘You don’t know what people look like on the Internet, they could turn up and look like something out of The Hills Have Eyes.”
Charming, eh? Of course, Scotty needn’t worry about finding a lass to bang right now as he’s back in the arms of his semi-secret girlfriend Francesca Toole, who he supposedly split with after he was spotted sneaking into a hotel with Katie Price.
However, it appears that their relationship isn’t exactly super serious.
“I can’t see myself settling down any time soon, my job means I’m never here,” he said.
“I’m with someone at the minute but it’s just hard as I’m always away, and I want to see her every day but I can’t because I’m away so it puts a lot of pressure on it.
“It’s a casual thing but we are together, it just makes it ten times easier than when you start calling it a relationship, it makes it harder and causes loads of s***.”
While marriage might not be on the cards just yet, Scotty is adamant that he can’t wait to be a dad – and what a role model we reckon he will be.
“I want loads of kids,” he threatened. “I want to have ten little boys who are exactly like me and they’re an absolute nightmare.
“I want them to take over the world.”
While all that is shocking enough – he left his fiercest comments for Megan McKenna, who he knows from Ex On The Beach and Celebrity Big Brother.
During a game of Snog, Marry Avoid on The Sun’s expletive filled Facebook Live, Scotty said he would most definitely avoid Megan describing her as an “absolute f***ing nightmare” and “an absolute f***ing ratchet c**t”.
He also referred to Gemma Lucy as an “absolute f***ing dirty arse”.
Blimey, Scott, you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Although he might not hold back when it comes to chatting about Megan, he has little sympathy for her disgraced boyfriend Pee Wicks either.
Speaking about Pete’s recent sexing scandal, Scotty said: “He shouldn’t have been sending pictures of his chopper to his ex bird. Not good that! If you’re going to do that, don’t get caught.”