Richard E Grant has revealed that he removed friends from his life after they avoided talking to him about the death of his wife, Joan Washington.
The 69-year-old actor said his friendship group became much smaller following Joan’s death in 2021. He felt hurt when some people reportedly crossed the street rather than face a potentially difficult conversation with him.
Richard has remained candid about his loss, including writing to Joan every night as a way of maintaining his connection with her.
The Hollywood actor, who has starred in countless movies, from Spice World and Star Wars to Salt Burn, lost wife Joan, a dialect coach, eight months after she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.
The pair got married in 1986 and enjoyed a 38-year marriage. They share a daughter, actress Olivia Grant, 42.
Richard E Grant on ‘editing’ friends from his life
Speaking to The Sunday Times, Richard described himself as someone who takes a firm approach to relationships.
He said: “I’m very unequivocal, black and white, all or nothing. I’ve tried to go for the grey areas but it’s not succeeded for very long.
“There are people that have been edited out of my life and I will never see them again. If I had done that to them, I wouldn’t be able to look them in the face. People do everything to avoid talking about death.”
When the interviewer suggested that those people might have meant well, Richard gave a blunt response: “No, portcullis down. Goodbye.”
Richard E Grant opens up about losing his wife
During an appearance on singer Paloma Faith’s Mad Sad Bad podcast in January, Richard revealed it had been four years since Joan died.
He admitted that he understands “rationally” that he will “never see, touch, talk to her ever again”.
He continued: “But, emotionally, my brain cannot compute that she’s gone, so it sort of reconfigured and I just instinctively started writing to her, every night, that is the hardest bit to get used to.
“The trick of memory is so extraordinary, in that, a year ago, I only remembered her in full health, rather than in poor health for the last eight months of her life. So, if I suddenly find a picture of her on my phone of when she was ill, it’s a real shock, because my memory has sort of reconfigured, which I suppose is what you do, your survival instinct to only remember the good bits.”
On a more positive note, Richard recognised that “only eight months of those 38 years were in diminishing health”.
‘I cry every single day’
Elsewhere during the conversation, Richard admitted he cries often.
“I cry every single day: from grief, from joy, from the news,” he said.
However, as he continues to grieve and deal with loss, he said it’s not something you can ever “get over”. That said, he also admitted, “I’ve not wanted to get over” his wife.
“Because then it’s almost like you’re saying, well, that person’s life, that’s finished and done with,” Richard added.
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