Former X Factor star Jahmene Douglas shocked fans on Friday with a worrying tweet about his ‘suicidal thoughts’.
Now, he’s thanked people for their support but said he’s still struggling with dark feelings every day.
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In his original tweet, he wrote, ‘This Is me’ with a heartfelt plea attached.
In the letter, he said, “My mind is plagued with suicidal thoughts whenever my defences are down,”
He added: “I feel so broken, lost and worthless. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I try to fix myself, who I talk to or what I put in place it always comes back to this.”
Fellow stars and fans quickly responded with messages of love and support, concerned for Jahmene’s safety, some even feared it might be the last they’d hear from him.
Returning to Twitter on Tuesday evening, though, he wrote: “wasn’t intended as a goodbye, but simply me slipping a note under the prison door to see if anybody knew of an escape.”
In the message he simply wrote the word ‘Sorry’, along with a lengthy attachment, part of which read: “Unfortunately the devil still found a way in, but over the past few days I’ve been kicking him out. I find walking helps, so I walked and walked until my feet hurt.”
Jahmene previously explained that his abusive upbringing led to an ongoing battle with his mental health.
In the letter that he tweeted on Tuesday he said: “I was born into abuse so my complete foundations are crumbling bricks. I feel as though I’ve lost my identity – the grasp of that which defines me.”
Jahmene added that his best escape from his feelings is his music “as it’s the only thing that gives me purpose”.
He finished the note: “An important thing to remember for those who may not understand this is… I didn’t choose suicide, it chose me. I cannot control what happens. Like domestic violence, suicidal thoughts are harder to function when you are honest and open with those around you with the problem.
“I was tired of pretending. You should always call the Devil out by his name to drag him out. I know this is down to me and only me to fix – with God.”
In a recent interview with contributor to ED! Andy West for his YouTube channel, AndyVision, Jahmene opened up about his suicidal thoughts, saying “I wouldn’t lie…my demon is suicide and something you struggle with daily.
“If I keep covering it up with a smile I’m doing more damage to yourself. So I’m trying to take it day-by-day…seeing what happens.”
“It’s bad to tell people everything’s okay and you’ve sorted the issue out.”
He added “Whenever you feel sad you’re instantly going back to what it was before and it’s learning how to deal with that.”
He also spoke about his troubles since leaving the X Factor as runner-up to James Arthur in 2012, describing the experience as ‘heart-breaking’.