Emmerdale has its fair share of awful relationships – but at the moment it’s got a bumper crop.
From adulterers and schemers to druggies and the moronic, it’s all a little bit too much for us.
Here are the worst of the bunch in the ITV soap.
Vanessa and Suzy
What do you get if you cross a plot device with a vet? Suzy and Vanessa!
Not only was their first meeting contrived – why was Suzy randomly carrying a cake in the village? – but why did Vanessa not just run her over?
Suzy’s a recovering cocaine addict and you know this because she mentions it in every single scene. Militant vegans talk less.
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And despite what the show insists – there is literally no chemistry between this pair.
They are not love’s young dream, they are not forbidden lovers reaching across enemy lines, they are two middle-aged lesbians who should know better.
David and Victoria
This should go without saying but there was clearly a reason these two characters never interacted in the decades they have both been in the village.
Over-grown bleached manchild David is not an appropriate match for sensible mum-of-one Victoria Sugden.
Now she’s sold her inheritance from her grandmother to bail out his failing business and it’s all going to end in tears.
Assuming they are ever together. David has left the village again for another break.
Small mercies and all that.
Matty and Amy
How could any relationship survive one of them – cough cough Matty – running around looking permanently shifty as he plots revenge against someone who tenuously was connected to his dead drug addict sister?
You can just imagine the delight of saying good morning to your beloved and receiving a diatribe about Suzy Merton in response.
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We’re half expecting his head to begin spinning with the inner rage he’s carrying around.
And let’s also talk about Amy – she’s brushed off her guilt about Frank’s death easily enough, hasn’t she?
To think she judged Meena Jutla! At least Meena knows she’s a killer.
Chas and Al
Do we even have to explain this one?
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when the awful meets the terrible and they have an affair then now you know.
It makes no sense, they’re not being discrete and worst of all it’s making us feel bad for Kerry Wyatt – and that’s just not on.
Emmerdale usually airs weeknights at 7.30pm on ITV, with an hour-long episode on Thursdays.
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