Celebrity Gogglebox is currently on our screens with some of the most well-known faces from the world of TV, but Channel 4 is a long way off from providing me with my dream cast…
In my opinion, the channel needs to seriously up its game if they want to keep me watching. The fifth series started in June 2023, and some of the new additions have been decidedly questionable.
While I’m firmly in the ‘fan’ camp for returning father and son duo Martin and Roman Kemp, other couples have proved a bit ‘meh’. I’m not talking about A-listers here, either. No, that would be too boring… They’re too precious to let us see them with Dorito crumbs down their onesies.
I’m after some of TV’s finest… Not the sort of celebs who have already appeared on the likes of I’m A Celebrity, Dancing on Ice, and Big Brother. I want more additions like Royle Family legends Ricky Tomlinson and Sue Johnston. They rarely appear on TV these days, which makes their stint on the sofa so brilliant.
Here’s my Celebrity Gogglebox dream cast revealed… See if you agree!
Sarah Lancashire and James Norton
This is a no-brainer. Sarah Lancashire is THE best actress on TV at the moment. And she’s notoriously private away from the cameras. I’d love to know what she’s really like away from her onscreen characters.
In my Celebrity Gogglebox dream cast, she would team up with her Happy Valley co-star James Norton. Of course, in the superb BBC One thriller, Sarah and James played bitter enemies Sergeant Catherine Cawood, and vile criminal Tommy Lee Royce. It would be such a treat to see them being friendly on a couch!
And now, with James Norton backed to become the next James Bond by William Hill – 11/4 odds! – it might well be the last time Channel 4 can afford him before he is catapulted into the showbiz stratosphere!
Gogglebox dream cast: Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders
Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders are not on TV anywhere near as much as I want them to be. It’s a travesty, because they could outwit most comedians on television today. I’m looking at you Katherine Ryan, and Babatunde Aleshe.
The pair were wonderful when they teamed up again in the 2022 film Death on the Nile, and were arguably the best thing in it (which is admittedly not saying much).
Dawn and Jennifer are TV gold. Known for their comedy sketches on French and Saunders, they are famously funny. And that’s exactly why I want them on Celebrity Gogglebox ASAP. I could watch them all day.
Failing a Dawn and Jen reunion – although they both live in Devon! – I’d happily watch Jennifer and her famous husband Adrian Edmondson, too.
Ricky Gervais and his partner Jane Fallon
Like all comedians, Ricky Gervais is a bit Marmite. But he’s my favourite stand-up comedian by a country mile. As well as being hilarious, he’s outspoken and not afraid to criticise other celebs. That’s a win/win for Celebrity Gogglebox.
This man is responsible for two of the best TV comedy series ever made in the UK – The Office and After Life on Netflix – so I trust his opinion on other shows. Unlike some of the other commentators on Celebrity Gogglebox, who are only used to being in front of the camera, Ricky is an actor, director and producer. That gives him some serious kudos!
His partner Jane Fallon would bring her own talents, too. She and Ricky have been together since 1984, when they met at University College London. I’d love to see what their relationship is like behind closed doors…
Of course, Jane is very talented, funny and successful in her own right. A former television producer, who worked on EastEnders, This Life, and Teachers, she’s now an accomplished author.
Gogglebox dream cast: Cast of Motherland
I’m not fussy, I’d love any combination of the cast of Motherland on Celebrity Gogglebox. But preferably all of them together on a gigantic sofa. Each and every member of the BBC One hit sitcom inspires me to be funnier everyday, and I think they’d be hilarious on CG.
Whether they would drink as much alcohol as their characters remains to be seen, but something tells us it would feel like a party – with or without booze.
I am here for that.
Alison Hammond and Josie Gibson
This Morning presenters Alison Hammond and Josie Gibson are two of the most likeable presenters on television at the moment, and they’re both funny in their own right.
Neither of them fit the standard Stepford Wife prototype of a super-skinny host, with immaculate hair, and questionable personality (you know who I mean).
These girls are as real as you and me, and I’d meet them down the pub for a drink in a shot. I’d love to see them paired up on Celebrity Gogglebox one day in the future. Would they reveal their true thoughts about the recent Phillip Schofield scandal, though? I doubt it, not while they’re still on ITV’s pay role.
Gogglebox dream cast: Victoria and David Beckham
Victoria and David Beckham are still a pretty rare thing. Brits who have properly infiltrated the US A-list. But how much do we really know about them behind closed doors? Only what they show us on Instagram, which can’t be trusted, obvs!
Does Victoria remove the stick up her arse at night so she can sit comfortably? Do they ever remove their sunglasses? Does Viccy B ever let a snack pass her perfectly-glossed lips? Do they own matching Primark pyjamas like the rest of us?
These questions need answering! And what better venue than Celebrity Gogglebox!?
Richard Madeley and Judy Finnegan
Like Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders (see entry above), Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan are a couple we rarely see together on TV anymore.
Richard, yes. Judy, no. But it was their partnership which we all loved on This Morning. Richard’s painful gaffes, Judy’s long-suffering patience. I miss them.
Five years ago, Judy revealed she was retiring from television after 43 years as a result of her health. But I’d love to see her back in a dream casting of Celebrity Gogglebox.
Intelligent, measured, and experienced, Judy would be the Mary to Richard‘s Giles.
Gogglebox dream cast: Ant and Dec
Okay, so I know that Ant McPartlin and Dec Donnelly are often on TV. But their banter never gets old. They would be a brilliant addition to the Celebrity Gogglebox cast. I know they’d have me in stitches with their cheeky commentary.
The Hairy Bikers
Just because Dave Myers and Si King are two of the nicest blokes on the telly. And I’d love to see what snacks they’d rustle up!
Gogglebox dream cast: Ian Hislop and Paul Merton
One for Have I Got News for You fans. Of course I know that super-sharp team captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton are totally above watching mainstream TV, but that’s what would make their commentary so compelling.
Gogglebox dream cast: Sanjeev Bhaskar and Meera Syal
Married couple and former co-stars of Goodness Gracious Me Sanjeev Bhaskar and Meera Syal would make great additions to CG. They’re both funny, witty and TV legends in their own right.
Perhaps Unforgotten fans might get a clue as to what Sanjeev puts in Sunny’s backpack, and Meera might show off her recent BAFTA Fellowship award!
Read more: Top 10 ranking of the best Celebrity Goggleboxers of all time – are your favourites in there?
Celebrity Gogglebox continues on Fridays at 9pm on Channel 4.
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