There can be nothing worse than the agony of losing your child.
And 10 years on from the death of Jade Goody, her mum has spoken out about how the pain “never gets easier”.
Speaking on Monday’s This Morning, Jackiey Budden spent the interview wiping away tears with a tissue, as she talked about losing her daughter to cervical cancer on 22nd March 2009.
After watching a montage of her daughter’s time in the spotlight, Jackiey apologised for being so emotional, telling presenters Holly Willoughby and Phil Schofield: “Oh God, I’m so sorry.”
Jackiey admitted: “People say it gets easier – it never gets easier. It’s the same every day. The hardest thing is it don’t go away.”
The mum – whose daughter shot to fame in 2002’s Big Brother – added that she gets “flashbacks”, explaining: “What I can’t get around is, I was the one who, when she passed, I was the one who bathed her, washed her and I get that flashback all the time.
“I wish I had never done it because the flashback never goes away and it’s awful.
“Her back was purple and blue. I had never been in that situation before. I washed her and cleaned her and when the body man came I left her face open.
“He promised me he wouldn’t do the zip up before I walked away. That doesn’t go away.
“I brought her into life so I took her out of it and that’s why I did it. I don’t regret it but the image won’t leave me.
“The gravity, because it’s not a thing that you do, you don’t bury your daughter or your son. To watch her disintegrate was the worst.
“But as much as I miss her, I’m so pleased she’s out of pain – that’s what I pray for every time.”
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Holly and Phil asked about Jade’s sons, Bobby, 15, and Freddie, 14, who are being brought up by Jade’s former partner, their dad, Jeff Brazier.
Jackiey confirmed: “They’re grand, they’re doing so so well… I see them, they’re doing really well.”
She added tragically: “Fred still grieves. Bobbie is the spitting image of her. Jeff’s grand, he’s a good dad.”
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