A woman has shocked This Morning viewers by saying she believes grandparents should ask for consent before kissing their grandchildren.
Parenting expert Jane Evans was on the daytime show alongside mum-of-two Rebecca Jane to discuss the news that children in Australia are being encouraged to say no to kisses from their grandparents as well as other people, in a new move to teach consent.
Jane said she thinks the initiative is a great idea as it teaches children boundaries.
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She told hosts Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford: “It should just be a part of daily life. If I met you, I wouldn’t just launch into a hug. I would say, ‘I’ve always wanted to meet you, I’d love to give you a hug.'”
Ruth cut in: “No but most grandparents wouldn’t launch into a hug with anybody else’s child but when it’s their own grandchild.”
Jane replied: “But children can’t make that distinction. They just get the message that when somebody, anybody who wants to hug them or kiss them, comes into their space, they just have to go along with it because their brains are too underdeveloped.”
However, Rebecca believes this is a ‘snowflake generation’ gone mad.
She said: “This is nonsense. If we start having these boundaries with children and say, ‘no stop my grandmother from giving me a kiss, you’ve got to ask me for consent,’ where do we draw the line?
“We are going to breed cold and emotionless children and it’s going to affect their future.”
Jane said: “No, we are going to raise children who feel safe in their own bodies, respect their own bodies and respect other people’s bodies. This is a major crisis we have…”
But Rebecca hit back: “This is not a crisis, grandparents kissing their grandchildren.”
Jane continued: “It’s not about grandparents, it’s about everyone. It’s about parents, grandparents, uncles and aunties.”
Host Ruth cut in: “But when you say parents… that would worry me because when will it stop? Are we going to get to a stage where parents are going to have to ask permission to say [to children], ‘can I change your nappy now? Can I put your pants on?'”
Jane replied: “It sounds like a big deal because we’re making it a big deal but actually most of us do it with our babies, ‘oh I just need to pop you down and change your nappy,’ it’s that heads-up.
“Obviously a baby can’t verbalise but it’s important we do it with children because their brain development is rapid.”
Rebecca said: “We have to teach children that it is OK to give affection to their parents and their grandparents.”
Jane replied: “Yes, but it doesn’t have to be physical,” to which Rebecca hit back: “To give a hug is love and affection.”
Jane said: “It’s not about the adult. It’s about, do we want to keep children safe? Of course we do. It’s always about safety.”
The majority of viewers disagreed with Jane’s views and called it “nonsense”.
One person said: “Always kissed and hugged my grandparents and aunts and uncles, I’ve grown up being totally in control of my body and aware of consent! Absolute nonsense.”
Always kissed and hugged my grandparents and aunts and uncles, I’ve grown up being totally in control of my body and aware of consent! Absolute nonsense #ThisMorning
— Amy Pye (@amy_daniels_19) July 31, 2019
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Another wrote: “Grandparents having to ask their grandchildren for permission for a kiss/cuddle is nonsense!
“@RuthieeL is so right when she says that this will spiral to parents having to ask their children for permission. We are going to raise cold, emotionless kids!”
A third tweeted: “I understand about telling children right & wrong, who they can kiss & who they cant kiss if asked, but surely that starts at home with the parents to teach them right and wrong, my kids love all their grandparents and would never say no to a kiss and cuddle.”
#thismorning @thismorning grandparents having to ask their grandchildren for permission for a kiss/cuddle is nonsense! @RuthieeL is so right when she says that this will spiral to parents having to ask their children for permission. We are going to raise cold, emotionless kids!
— Laura Gilbert (@laulaugil) July 31, 2019
I understand about telling children right & wrong, who they can kiss & who they cant kiss if asked , but surely that starts at home with the parents to teach them right and wrong , my kids love all their grandparents and would never say no to a kiss and cuddle ❤️ #ThisMorning
— sarah smith (@sehsmiffy) July 31, 2019
Others agreed with Jane, with one person saying: “Consent is an important concept and children should have the choice. Autonomy and trust is far more important than tradition.”
Another wrote: “My mum always does ask my 2 year old daughter… “can nanny have a kiss” then it’s up to my daughter, most of the time she gives a kiss, but there’s the odd occasion she turns away… So yes, kids have the right to refuse.”
A third added: “Absolutely ask! A child should have the right to say no. And those closest to the child should teach this. It’s about the child not the grandparents.”
#thismorning Consent is an important concept and children should have the choice. Autonomy and trust is far more important than tradition.
— Folklore&fairytales (@RedCinderRising) July 31, 2019
My mum always does ask my 2 year old daughter… “can nanny have a kiss” then it’s up to my daughter, most of the time she gives a kiss, but there’s the odd occasion she turns away…
So yes, kids have the right to refuse.— Zoe Poole (@ZoePumpkinPoole) July 31, 2019
Absolutely ask! A child should have the right to say no. And those closest to the child should teach this. Its about the child not the grandparents.
— Its Me🤔🤔 (@NiamhBolger1) July 31, 2019
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