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Widow who lost husband of 43 years finds love again with a woman after coming out as gay

She featured in an incredible episode of BBC2's Secret Helpers

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A widow who lost her husband after 43 years of marriage has come out as gay and found new love with a woman after a lifetime suppressing her true feelings.

Lesley, whose partner Roy died four years ago after a long, debilitating illness, spent the last decade of her spouse’s life devoted to caring for him.

The 74-year-old has finally come out to friends and family and is now in a lesbian relationship for the first time ever, all thanks to The Secret Helpers, on BBC2 last night, leaving viewers in floods of tears.

Cheers! Lesley making a new friend on her big night out (Credit: BBC)

She was given crucial advice and support via a secret earpiece from worldly wise “sages” around the globe, including retired New York cops Mark and Joe who encouraged her to go to a gay bar to meet new people.

And it paid off in the best possible way as the programme ended with the revelation that Lesley is now going out with one of the women she met at the pub on the night.

The widow said: “I’ve dedicated my life totally to my husband, bless him. The last 10 years were particularly hard.

“He couldn’t even dress or undress himself and it was very stressful. He was very kind, very loving. I had a lovely time but now it’s just that loneliness.

“Now I’m beginning to realise I would like to share my life with another woman.”

Lesley and Roy on their wedding day (Credit: BBC)

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Lesley explained how social pressures had prevented her from coming out before.

“Back in the old days, being gay or lesbian was shunned and it was looked at as something rude or disgusting,” she said.

“I think I’ve really pushed it down and hidden it because it was seen to be wrong

“I don’t want to hide how I feel any longer. I’ve got to speak up and be truthful, and I just hope it isn’t too late.

“Nobody knows that I prefer women. It would be so special to end my life being happy.”

Mark and Joe gave Lesley the confidence she needed (Credit: BBC)

Ahead of her first ever visit to a gay establishment, she said: “I’m a bit nervous about it, naturally apprehensive.

“I’m really dreading it in some ways because at my age it’s a bit scary, but I’ll never have another chance to do this, so it has got to be now or never.”

During the programme, Lesley came close to revealing her true sexual orientation to four friends she’d invited to dinner but changed her mind, fearing their disapproval.

“Some people don’t always understand,” she said. “They start judging you. I don’t want to lose their friendship.”

But the widow found the courage to go through with the night out at the gay bar.

Lesley dancing the night away at the gay bar (Credit: BBC)

She said: “I want to move on and make things happen for me for a change and be my true self. I never want to go backwards. This is me.

“I’ve been waiting for this particular moment for years, maybe the best part of 40  years.

“I was married to my husband which was lovely but now I’ve got to find who I really am. “I’m very excited although still a bit nervous because it’s like walking into the unknown.”

Following an initial wobble, she was encouraged by Mark and Joe to chat to other women in the pub, which gave her the confidence to start introducing herself.

Lesley reflects on the best night of her life (Credit: BBC)

Joe told her: “What did Churchill say? We have nothing to fear but fear itself.”

At the end of the evening, Lesley said: “After 40-odd years I think I’ve done the best thing.

“It has been amazing. I’ll never forget this. It’s really beautiful.”

An on-screen caption revealed: “Since filming, Lesley has come out to a small group of family and friends and is in a relationship with a woman she met on her night out at the pub with the ‘sages’.”

Viewers were in floods of tears and shared their emotion on Twitter.

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* The Secret Helpers continues on BBC2 at 7pm next Monday.

What do you think of Lesley’s courageous step? Leave us a comment on our Facebook page @EntertainmentDailyFix and let us know what you think!


Nancy Brown
Acting Editor